Graceful I am not....

I work in an environment that asks that we dress business casual on tues, wed, and thurs, not big deal, more often than not, we offer the chance to dress "down" for the cost of $20 going to the charity we have chosen for the month, this month however I decided that I was tired of seeing others practically wearing their pajamas to work (and to admit I was slightly guilty of not putting up an effort myself) that I decided that I was not going to dress down and I was going to take the tags off of all of those nice clothes that I own. Today I am wearing a lovely pencil skirt with a black tuxedo blouse, very nice...

The whole point of that little preface was to say that walking out of the house this morning I promptly fell flat on my bum as walking down my front steps, I sucked it up and did not cry, although I truly wanted to, and sitting at a desk all day is not fun for me right now. The thing is, I had gone through all of this prep, not wearing my wonderful patent leather pumps, so that I would not fall! And yet I fell regardless.... there were others outside, I am just hoping that they did not see, no one said anything anyway.

My bum is sore, and I am at work, woo hoo, I haven't even gotten to the part that makes this morning ever so special for me. I get to work and start digging through my purse for my trusty cell phone, the only phone I own, and it is no where to be found! In my, sure to get an Olympic perfect 10, louge down the stairs my phone must have gone flying out of my purse into some random snow bank surrounding the front of my home. You can't see me, but I am pouting like a little girl who had her dolly taken away right now. I might as well haev pigtails and be stomping my feet at the frustration of it all.

I am very lucky though, that I have the phone I had prior to receiving the phone I had, and I was able to call (so much in love with Cassandra at Verizon Wireless right now) Verizon and get my old phone reactivated!! YAY! It is at home, and I won't get it until this evening, but to know that I might be connected to the world, even slightly is a wonderful feeling!

Ok so... for real this time...

Happy New Year!!!

Here I am... windburned face... muscles aching... and so happy I was at the ice bowl yesterday. I am listening to my sat radio... they are discussing the same old question of this time of year... asking about resolutions... i didn't really make any myself. My boyfriend and I are both trying to get into a lot better shape. So we are competing... whomever works out or goes to the gym the most each month wins a gift of their choice from the other at the end of the month. He is ultra competitive and I am really broke so I think it will kick both of our butts into gear. I already bought a new bikini to wear this summer so I better get in good enough shape to wear it!

So I was at the ice bowl yesterday and it was a blast altho my windburned face is screaming today... We took my son and nephew and it was so much fun having them there, it was the first hockey game for each, and even though my son slept through the entire first period, I still know he had a great time! He got the full Ralph Wilson experience, missing most of the second period while waiting in line to get a hot dog, and watching a woman get pinned to the ground and taken away on a stretcher as she screamed and punched at security.... It was a great time!

But there was nothing better than getting home and putting on dry sweatpants... and curling up under my Notre Dame blanket and watching season 3 of the office in the recliner. It was a great day! I figure at some point in time I should probably talk about my Christmas and my boyfriend's birthday trip to Toronto (also known as New Year's Eve) but I just don't feel like it right now... It was a great time is all that I think needs to be said!

Odd Days of Sheer Perfection

Yesterday morning i had this moment... this strange sort of clarity where i truly felt like i was living the life of my dreams.

it was a surreal sort of clarity... we had gotten our first real snow... clearly coating the entire world and making everything seem crips and clear and perfect....

I was sitting around looking like absolute hell... in a hoodie and some yoga pants... big fluffy slippers and socks on... hair in a messy ponytail and bangs pinned back... nothing short of a bum.... and i know that my boyfriend thinks i am beautiful as he is looking at me while he is pressing his uniform to go on base for the week... (has to be crisp!!) we are watching the second season of the office on dvd, and this is of course after he has gone for his morning run and i have done my pilates, and we are just hanging out, enjoying talking to each other... saying nothing of any importance, nothing that i can recall at this point, and i could not help but thinking about how much i loved my life and the fact that i get to share it with him.

it might be just ever so cliche, but I sat in my recliner yesterday thinking about how lucky i was, our christmas tree is all decorated and it is absolutely perfect and everything i have ever wanted, we've got our stockings hung from the mantle, and i know that the man i love is want of nothing more than to come home to me and just talk to me, just be with me, life truly can get no better than this.

granted i have made my life sound sickeningly perfect, and it is by no means thus. my professional life all but sucks big hairy balls, ok i remove the all but it so very much does do all of the sucking, and i feel that i am drowning under imaginary timelines. but it is mornings like the one i experienced yesterday that remind me that there are things that are worth looking forward to, that no matter how much 98% of my life may totally blow... i still have that 2% which makes me feel ever so amazing.... and gives me the energy to go on!

I guess this would be New Year's Day...

Or the supposed incarnation of such as it pertains to my ramblings.....

Let us see however how it has gone thus far.... I did in fact do pilates this morning and yoga tonight when i got home from work, quickly followed by doing the dishes and cooking dinner..... ok, so i am off to a fantastic start really!! well... with my personal life at least....

I awoke this morning to my normal alarm of AC/DCs Thunderstruck at 5 am, only to snooze until 7 when Mark left for his run and I hopped out of bed to perform the afore mentioned pilates, only to get about 10 minutes in and remember that I had a meeting at 8 with my boss... I am sure that you can all hear the shit!... shit! shit! shit!!! that was running through my brain, so pilates thrown to the side, clothes thrown on and out the door I went.... hurridly texting Mark to let him know what was going on.. as we had planned on carpooling that morning....

I can only imagine his surprise as he comes back from his run to find the house completely empty, wondering what he did to piss me off so that I left while he was gone!

I am catching up on my work.... At least slightly, the problem being that I can't seem to concentrate on one single issue at a time... I work on bits and pieces of each... it makes for serious sloppyness... I need to stop that!!!! I say this as I am blogging instead of diving headfirst into work..... God I am a total mess!!!!

Why Wait for New Year's?

Ok, so I am tired... and subsequently very cranky... not much fun to be around of late....

The thing is, my life is a flurry of unorganization, while mentally I need to have everything perfectly tallied and in its place to function... this creates the subsequent crankiness... I'm the girl that alphabetizes her dvds, cds, books seperated by author and publishing date.... as you can imagine this makes me oh so much fun to live with!

Currently I don't have enough space to make sure that everything that I and my fabulous boyfriend own, well I hesitate to say not enough spce, our current appartment has plenty of it, however we are lacking the all too neccesary shelving units required to house said items....

The problem, or at least what I am going to label as the problem because it obviously can't be my poor time management or my magnificent ability to procrastinate, is that I have no time... none... the time that I would like to spend at home, furiously getting my home in order, is spent with my children at their father's house, or working on some other HUGE issue that has come up and I need to maintain at work.

The weekends that one might normally spend catching up on the work weeks chores gone by, I don't get to spend at home. I wake up in the morning, drive out to my ex's house and hang out there all day with the kids. Granted this makes my laundry life a little cheaper as I don't have to use the laundromat and can just wash my items at his house, however I don't get home with the fluffy clean laundry until about 9 at night, at which point in time, depending on the days activities... I am completely and utterly exhausted....

So the title of the post, um where the hell does that fit in you ask? Simple... I am not waiting until the holy of all holies of resolution making to try and get my mess of a life in order.... I am making my resolution right here and now... when I get home exhausted, I will not spend another night wasted in a hot bath and tv in the recliner until I can no longer hold my head up... I am going to start accomplishing tasks as they come towards me so that I might, just might, be ahead of the game for once...

To be as honest as possible however... we will have to wait and see... lately I have been a hell of a lot of talk with as little as possible in the action category... I am also going to have to start getting back to the gym.... I haven't gained any weight back yet, but with the onslaught of holiday meals fast approaching... it is a very real possibility!

Whirlwind Romance

I am one of those girls that tends to frown at all that is cute and cuddly, turning my nose up at the romance of it all.... but I am so ridiculously in love right now that I have become one of those vomit inducing couples that are adorable beyond belief.. and I am loving every moment of it. I find myself imagining marrying him, thinking about being engaged, obsessively texting or emailing him to let him know he is on my mind, and he more than returns the favor. I worry tho that we are also becoming one of those couples that never does anything apart. The problem is that we have so many complications going on between work and my children, that there are only so many days when we actually get to enjoy talking to each other face to face for more than a kiss goodnight, so I tag along where he goes and he returns the favor for me. Don't worry I'll wait while your nausea subsides.... We will see where this whole side by side-ness goes... if anything I am learning that we woudl totally kick ass in a 3 legged race!

And the wholesome family fun ensues...

so, took the kids trick or treating last night, not bad for a new york state halloween, they didn't even have to wear their jackets! unlike last year when we were dodging the remnants of our infamous october storm, with downed tree limbs and snow all over the place.

the kids made out like bandits and i thoroughly enjoyed sorting their candy at the end of the night... wait kids this might be poisoned i think mom is going to have to eat it just to make sure!

the best was when the kids went up to a door, and with their normal boisterousness... 1,2,3 TRICK OR TREAT.... no answer.... my son then follows that up with.... um... trick or treat? just his tone of voice was great and had all of us laughing forever....